5 Money questions you need to ask for Financial Autonomy.

My ex-husband’s name is Robert.

I met him when I was in my early 20’s.
He is significantly older than me, was/is an attorney, and because of this I assumed made a lot of money, had a house…you know “established”.

I was working as an interior designer at the time (I have a degree in that in addition to my BSW & MSW).

I didn’t make much money.
He was the bread “winner”…and therefore, called the shots.

He decided where we would go out to dinner.
Where we would go on vacation.
Where we lived.

Now, granted I was young, I was in love, I was co-dependent.
I gave him my power.
I gave up my voice.

He used to have the bills sent to his office.
I never knew what insurance we had.
How much the mortgage was.
What cable cost…etc.etc.etc.

I used my own earnings to buy the groceries and anything I needed or anything my young step-daughter, Sara, needed.

And the rest went into the bank account.
Never saw the statements.

I had know idea how much money he made.
Zero idea.

I gave away my financial autonomy.
Yes, that was a huge learning lesson in my life.


It’s different 20 years later.
Being married to a true partner is great and John and I have zero secrets about money.

Still, I never wanted to give up my financial autonomy to anyone again.

This is one of the many reasons I have a business.

Maybe that is one of your reasons as well?

We all have these money stories, these money ideas that either help us be financially autonomous or not.

Do you ask yourself….

Beautiful gorgeous self,

1.  how much money does it take to live the life I want?

2. What would happen if (fill in the name of a partner if you have one here) was gone?

3. How would I pay for (make a list) the mortgage, college, weddings, vacations, clothing, food, gas….and on and on if I had to do it on my own?

4. What is the lie I keep telling myslef about my ability to earn money?

5. When is my Sally come to jesus day for when I get my money together?

6. How does it help me playing the “I don’t know how to do money.”? (And how is money not just addition and subtracion?)

7. How is not taking responsibilty for my money (aka my life )supporting me or failing me?

So many times we are stuck in shitty relationships because we have not set ourselves up financially for success.

And let’s be clear…when you don’t have your personal finances in shape, you are not going to have your business finances in shape either.

Let’s repeat that….how you do one thing is pretty much how you do all things.

If you are crappy with your personal finances, you rely on someone else, you don’t have your own credit, you don’t know how much money is in the bank…etc.

Your BUSINESS FINANCES are going to mirror your personal ones.

Yikes!! holy crap!!

Yeah, if you ask your man for money…how are you going to actually run your business ON YOUR OWN.
In other words, make your own financial biz decisions?

Is your man the leader of your business or are you?

And then there is the whole discussion about you setting your fees, maybe you are great with managing your funds…but you are not great at looking at why you even charge what you do, and maybe, just maybe, you should be charging more. But that’s for another day.

One thing at a time.
Start with this.

Action Steps:

1. List out your income. Personal & Biz
2. List out your outgo. P&B
3. What is your credit score? (run a free credit report)
4. What is your monthly process to review your bills? ( put a day on the calendar)
5. What is your analysis of R.O.I. when making your business investments?
(you must understand why you are putting money out and what you get back)

Now, look at what you have here.
What are you thoughts about it?
Where can you improve?

Want some more support around this?
Let’s set up a time to chat on the phone and review.
It’s your time to become financially autonomous, so you feel powerful, capable and have the KNOWING that you can always take care of yourself and your kids if you have them!

Here’s my calendar: Mary’s calendar
In 30 minutes, you will have a clear understanding of your money situation.
You will have a plan of action.
You will know the next steps you need to take to allow your biz to give you financial autonomy!

Let’s talk: Mary’s Calendar

I believe in you!!

p.s.—-don’t beat yourself up if you don’t have this down yet.
It is a skill you can and must master.
Start today!
and right now, think about what it will FEEL LIKE to be financially free!
To be financially independent!
To never have to worry about money!
To understand how to make money and keep it.
To profit from the work you are doing!

What does that feel like, gorgeous?

How does the thought and idea of financial autonomy feel??