How small are you playing?

I would get all dressed up in my panty hose (remember them?), my new un-scuffed heels, my proper biz suit and check my roots, brush my hair, put on a smile and head out the door.

Driving to the event, my mind would race around about how I would handle different scenarios.

What would I say when people asked me what I do?

What would I say when I just wanted to run away?

What would I ask people so it looked like I really wanted to know about them, when I really just wanted to run away?

I would walk into the room, all six foot tall with those un-scuffed heels on, not a little person.

But I was playing so small.

When I would get nervous, I would head off to the bathroom, pop into the stall, just sit there getting my composure together.

Why was everyone else so articulate? What was I really contributing to the conversation? Do they think I am pushy?

Those are painful memories when I think back to how I played small. Painful memories when I think of all the soul searching, deep diving, mental shaking up I had to do to finally get my head in the right place.

Having my head in the right place sure feels better than me constantly saying, “Mary, get your shit together, what’s wrong with you???” or “Common already, just do something….anything…..”

How small I was playing back then.

When at the end of the day, who really cares if I screwed up saying EXACTLY the right thing at the very right moment.Click To Tweet

How small are you playing?

Does this seem like a hard question?

Did you turn away from this, only to be drawn back because somewhere deep inside you are asking yourself the same question?

Sometimes we set these big goals (and keep a look out for a BOLD exciting training coming up!) and as we make new commitments, it really all comes down to how we show up in life.

How we show up is actually the most critical part of how we walk through our life.
Do we show up in all of our glory, all of our brilliance, all of our knowing and all of our humanity?
Or do we show up small, dimming our light, hiding out, judging, blaming…..–I have to tell you, just typing those two sentences is shocking. I actually was having a physical reaction to each. The first I felt like I was sitting up straighter, small smile on my face, breathing deeply, happiness in the thoughts racing through my mind, and then the latter sentence, my posture shifted, I have a pit in my stomach.—-

Take a moment right now, and say, “I show up BIG AND BOLD in my life.”

Remembering BOLD can mean different things to each of you….

For some it means really going for it!

For others being bold feels like, TOO much.

So when you think of how you can #BEBOLDitstime, what do you feel…..say it again and be aware of your posture, your breath…

Now say, “I play small and hide.”  OHHHHH, can you FEEL it?

Just imagine the impact this has in your everyday life. In your business. In your relationships with yourself, with your lover, with your clients, with your money….with everything.

Are you even aware of how you are playing small?

Sometimes we aren’t. But, we can have clues into this by recognizing our thoughts, actions and beliefs, you know, all the stuff that makes up our MINDSET. (gotta love the psychology of who we are!)

What are you saying to yourself?
What are you saying to and about other people?

Recently I heard a presenter talking about being worried about the economy, the new economy, the new way people do business….well, I completely disagreed with everything the person said.
When you FOCUS on lack, guess what, you are playing small and guess what shows up in your life...lack, limits, smallness, and more things that affirm you are playing small belief.

What shows up when you are bold, or happy, or committed, or conscious?!!

Well, the obvious, more of the good in life.

When you do the following action steps to think about how you play small, remember to go about it with a sense of curiosity and true interest. This is not the time to (actually there never is a time) to judge yourself or beat yourself up.

This is the time to honor what HAS been so you can become aware of it, release it and make different choices.

Who you have been up until this moment has been ONLY to benefit you. You now get to become aware of it and become CONSCIOUS of who, what and HOW you choose to show up in the world.

Of course, I believe you should first decide on what B.O.L.D. means to you and have this be your mantra….maybe you can decide after these action steps.

New View Excercise


Ask yourself HOW DO I PLAY SMALL in my life, my relationships, my business, my money, my self-care….all of the areas of importance to you…..
Then step back from this and create a new view, a view from the woman who plays BIG AND BOLD….the first few are examples from my own growth


  1. I hide behind “companies”.
  2. I hide behind men, thinking they “should” take care of me.
  3. I question myself after I share my opinions.
  4. I blamed my mother for my “laundry list”.


  1. I created my own business with my own name, vision and ideas.
  2. I earn a f’ing fantastic living and will never have to rely on anyone for the standard of living I desire.
  3. I share my thoughts and feelings so people can know the real me, I have great opinions.
  4. I love taking responsibility for my life and biz, it is so freeing to know it is all on me. Blaming no one is liberating!

So my dear friends, take a little time over a nice hot cup of tea and be curious about how you have played small so you can get NEW VIEW on what kind of BIG, BOLD LIFE & BIZ you can have. Be gentle and loving with yourself. You get to choose how you show up in your life and in your business.

I believe in YOU!

Here’s to you and your #regretprooflife

Are you ready to PLAY BIG & BOLD? Yet, maybe you just haven’t quite figured out HOW to begin or WHAT to do so YOU can have the life and biz you have always dreamed about? It’s right there for you.

Let’s chat. In 40 minutes we will be able to come up with a plan of action for you.  Schedule a time with me: here’s my calendar