How clear are you about the impact your mother had and has over your life?
Many women have a mother complex: A complex is a core pattern of emotions, memories, perceptions, and wishes in the personal unconscious organized around a common theme, such as power or status (Schultz, D. & Schultz, S., 2009). Primarily a psychoanalytic term, it is found extensively in the works of Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud. per Wikipedia
The three key things most people want to have more of, or at the very least a better understanding of are time, money and love.
Your relationship with each of these will always be impacted by her, like or not.
Sometimes mothers teach us what we do not want to be, do or have in our lives.
She modeled for you how to spend time, how to love and how to deal with money.
What are your lessons?
Time for yourself? is this something you are good at gifting to you? time to take care of the most important person in your life? YOU? Are you constantly busy, too busy? Do you carry a badge of honor for your busyness? Do you say yes when you mean no? Rushed, harried?
Or have you revolted against this? Have you made a stand for yourself?
Time is all about YOU, it is all about your precious seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months and years and oh how quickly they slip by.
What is your personal relationship with time?
Do you truly have an understanding on how to have more of it?
Do you feel time slipping by?
Do you waste it?
Do you honor your commitments?
Do you over do?
Do you under do?
Do you procrastinate?
Do you cherish it?
You know you can have more of it. Yes, you can. You may not know how, but you actually can.
You must decide you want to know how.
What is you relationship with money?
Close your eyes and listen, can you hear your mother’s voice talking to you about money?
What has been programmed into you?
What do you need to change?
Recently, I met a 63 year old woman who was just beginning to understand her relationship with money. How it would slip through her fingers. How she would buy things she didn’t need. How she had “more month than money.” She was quite upset with herself at not developing a better relationship with money years before. She was afraid to do the inner work. She was afraid she wasn’t smart enough.
Are you 63? No, most of you are between 35-55.
Many of you are extremely successful business woman. You have money, you have all of the securities money has to offer.
And others of you are still wondering how to “deal” with money.
The question is still the same, what is your personal relationship with money?
Do you understand it?
Do you hold onto it?
Does is run out?
Do you love it?
Do you fear it?
Do you hate it?
Do you think it just comes and goes?
Money is a relationship you can enjoy, feel confident about and worry free.
You just need to know how.
And lastly, your mother was your LOVE ROLE MODEL.
She was the one who demonstrated how to love herself, or not, how to love others, or not, how to parent, or not.
She was the key person in your life who programmed your subconscious mind on what love means.
You have been playing this out now for years.
What is the missing link for you with love?
What is the haunting you experience when you think of loving yourself or your husband/lover/mate?
What area do you need to understand better to have a richer love life?
If you don’t know, you have a blind spot.
Maybe you know, but you don’t know how to change it.
The question is still the same, what is your personal relationship with love?
Are you in love?
Do you want more love?
Are you pushing love away because of your fear of getting hurt again?
Do you love yourself enough to find out how to truly love?
Do you know what kind of love you do not want?
Do you understand your patterns with men?
Do you repeat the same arguments, misunderstandings and worries?
Do you love who YOU are when you are in love?
Do you miss the woman who you are when you are in love?
What are you fears?
Did she protect you?
You are designed to love. You are a woman.
You are able to embrace the lessons your mother taught you, even if you do not want to live the life she does or did, you can learn from what you don’t want.
You can re-write, re-create, re-tell your story about love.
You just have to decide to be brave enough to take a chance at looking within.
What might you find?
Close your eyes again and listen, this time listen to your intuition telling you to reach out to learn how. Can you hear it? You can chose to listen to your own inner knowing, you have the power to release any lesson from your mother you don’t want.
You are your mother’s daughter.
You are your own woman.
You can have the relationship with time, money and love that you want.
You just have decide, right now.
Why not mother yourself, tend to you, protect you, give to you, teach you, love yourself enough to finally have the relationships you want?
And this may even include the having a different relationship with your mother.
Happy Mother’s Day. Whether you have a mom or not, give a little thanks that you are here.