How to Know If You Are Living Your Story or Someone Else’s

Have you ever noticed sometimes you have a story you can’t seem to shake. And you can’t seem to shake it because the truth is, on one level it’s keeping you safe. Yeah, even though it is keeping you swirling with fear, self-doubt and not allowing you to live up to your deepest desires or highest potential…you just keep the story going.
Maybe, just maybe someone said to you, “who do you think you are”?…and they spoke down to you when you were saying something positive about yourself.
Women are not raised to speak highly of themselves. This is a negative quality.
Boasting. Bragging. Gloating. Puffing yourself up.
Why is it when we say something positivity about ourselves we aren’t supported, cheered on and encourage to seek out more of the positive within?
It could be as simple as saying you cooked a great roast beef. Or as big as you had your best year ever. Or maybe you are thrilled you set boundaries with someone. Or maybe you overcome a fear that had been keeping you parali
It’s common to take on someone else’s story of ourselves. We let one of those crappy seeds grow that sprouted from something negative someone said so long ago.
And we live it.
We claim it as our own.
We water it.
We watch it grow.
We recognize it as
Usually, it starts with “I can’t….” or “This is what happened….” or “It’s not an excuse, but….”
Time to shake off your STORY….
Maybe it looks like, you have too many coaches, too many “friends” you chat with or get their opinion about your story, or you seek out other people who have a similar story.
What can you do when you say you really want more out of your life & biz, BUT you keep holding onto the story that is keeping you from having it?


1. Get in touch with what you really, really want. You know, the inner secret. This is where you HAVE TO be real with yourself, real and honest. YOU know when you are fooling yourself.


2. Write out your CRAZY BIG DREAM the thing you really, really want in, glorious detail.


3. Now write out what you believe is KEEPING you from having it.


4. Write out who you share BOTH OF THESE THINGS with…the thing that is KEEPING YOU FROM having your CRAZY BIG DREAM & who you share your CRAZY BIG DREAM with.


5. Now, examine how well those you share it with SUPPORT the story or support the dream.


6. Who in you life supports the dream?


7. Ask yourself if your story is the TRUE reason behind why you are not moving forward. Most often the TRUE reason has more to do with your fears. The fear of losing something if you do get your big dream, fear of what others will think, fear of how you will change, fear of possible loss….maybe the simplest reason is you are just trying to convince yourself you want what you say you want and the bottomline is, you don’t. And then if you acknowledge that, now what?


8. If you truly want the dream, what is one thing you can do today that is so extreme that two things happen; 1. the thought of doing the extreme thing is so BIG that it spurs you into the smaller action items that get you toward your dream 2. stop asking everyone for their opinion about your story. IN other words, stop talking about your story.

It can be hard to make the change from focusing on the “this is why I am not moving forward (aka story)” to ” I know I have a story about why I am not moving forward, but I am going to get into action anyway”.
Remember, with everything we do we have to make a DECISION. And when we don’t move forward TOWARD our dream, we have actually made a decision against our dream.
My favorite quote is, “Your actions speak so loudly, I can’t hear a word you are saying.”
If in doubt whether you are moving forward to your CRAZY BIG DREAM, look at what you do DAILY to get you there…..
that speaks the loudest!
And one last thing….as we evolve, as we change, as we get closer to our dreams, wants and desires….a NEW STORY may pop up…yep.
Always ask yourself….

1. (from a place of GENTLE curiosity) is this TRUE for me?

2. Who keeps your story going?


Still not sure?? Sometimes is just takes a person on the outside looking in….call me, here’s my calendar: Mary’s Calendar



I believe in YOU!