Tears are such a part of our emotional expression. We attach so much meaning to the act of crying, and shedding of tears. Sometimes the “why” behind the tears eludes us.
Have you ever cried, and while crying laughed out loud?
Have you ever cried, and while crying cursed yourself for the shedding of tears, the outward demonstration of emotions.
Tears and crying are hard sometimes, right? Why is this?
Today, I am in such a state of questioning.
Maybe it is because lately I had been hovering just outside the state of weeping. You know the place?
The lump in your throat, tingle in your nose, the tightening of your chest, and the thoughts in your mind, all signaling, CRY.
And yet, I hover between release and holding on. Why is this?
Today this is all about questioning. I will question and you can quietly answer within your own mind, body and soul.
I ask you, why do we have conflict around crying?
Are we strong when we cry? Does it symbolize our ability to be vulnerable and emotional?
Are we weak when we cry? Does it symbolize our in-ability to be in control of our body and emotional state?
Why is this?
I am in awe of this conflict. Sad really. Sad in that we can be at times so indecisive about what tears mean, or rather, what meaning to associate to the expression of tears.
At times, we do not allow the natural process to flow.
Other times we seek out the crying experience. Could it be we have favorite tears we cry?
Have you ever watched a movie in FULL knowing it was a ‘TEAR JERKER’? What about listening to a favorite song?
Have you heard the saying, “A good cry will fix it?” Well, of course you have.
What about, “Stop being such a cry baby?”
Women are given such mixed messages about the very act that is so natural.
(Yes, I know men are given mixed messages, too, in fact the loudest being DON’T CRY, but today I am talking about women)
What does your crying tell you?
One study showed crying is actually not “good” for everyone.
A study of almost 200 Dutch women found most women felt better when they shed a tear. However, those with a higher score on the depression and anxiety scale felt worse after crying.
Neuropsychologist, Jodi DeLuca, PhD tells us, “crying is a signal you need to address something.”
What do I need to address?
I have been teary lately because of the recent trauma in Boston. Sometimes I get stuck on thinking about what happened in that instant.
Yes, I know this is due to my own issues with PTSD. For those of you who don’t know I experienced the devastation of the Oklahoma City bombing, 18 years ago.
And also, I am triggered by a recent passing of lovely woman who was a teacher to my daughter. We were about the same age. I know my “whys”, but I still am afraid.
Sometimes I am scared because I feel so alive when I cry. Does that resonate with you? Maybe those are my favorite tears to cry.
There have been moments that I loved crying. Other times I was terrified.
But today, alas, I give in. Today I embrace my crying, my tears and my sobs. I release the need to hold back, to stay strong, to be tough, and to hide from my fears.
Today I allow my humanity to surface in the glorious, sobbing, body wracking awareness that I feel fully, deeply, profoundly. I am grateful for this.
Yes, these are my favorite tears to cry.
Here is to all the many faces of tears…
Tears of joy
Tears hot with sorrow
Teary smiles at a Lifetime movie, or a Hallmark card
Tears wept in gratitude noting the beauty of children laughing, dancing, asking
Tears of fond memories of time gone by
Tears trailing down your face, leaving salty white tracks behind
Tears shed in soulful, ecstatic, orgasmic release
Tears of laughing so hard you fall off your chair, clutching your aching sides
Tears shed crying out loud with the awareness of the frailty of life
Tears of anger and dismay
And on, and on, and on…
My soulmate holds me, strokes my hair, tells me all is well. I need that, I am grateful for that, I cry because of that.
To you and your many glorious emotions, to the appreciation of the beauty of humanity, to celebration of life, love and relationships.
Mary
